It’s just a name right? But it’s also all of my being.
Tiger's eye is mined in Western Australia, South Africa, USA, Canada, India, Namibia, and Burma.
Many legends about quartz say that wearing tiger's eye (which is a form of quartz) is beneficial for health and spiritual well being. Legend also says it is a psychic protector, great for business, and an aid to achieving clarity.
The look of the stone is capturing and inspiring to me. It feels warm and soothing to view. I just simply love it.
I could be that in my modest love life, I came to be playfully called Tiger. More even so, it could have been that my friendship and loyalty was at one point described to be as fierce as a tiger. Maybe it had a little something to do with the fact that I was born on the year of the Tiger 1986 according to the Chinese Zodiac. In description, those born on the year of the Tiger, tend to have certain qualities.
(Yang, 3rd Trine, Fixed Element Wood): Unpredictable, rebellious, colorful, powerful, passionate, daring, impulsive, vigorous, stimulating, sincere, affectionate, humanitarian, generous. Can be restless, reckless, impatient, quick-tempered, obstinate, selfish, aggressive, moody.
But lets face it, we’ve all been these at one time or another. That out of the way, I can also mention that my interest in William Blake’s The Tyger might have influenced my name slightly. Literary jargon about what that poem means aside, I just love the way it’s written.
In my view, meaning behind a written work is only up to two people. The one that wrote it and the person reading it at the time. All these analysts out there claiming en masse that any particular form of written work could only mean one thing; and that it is a fact, have no original work of their own.
ANYWAY!
Now for the foremost part of my name. Slain. Simple enough. Those that read odd things have come across this word to simply mean: killed. Past participle of Slay. To destroy or extinguish. To kill by violence. Kinda emo no? Well, it just so happens that while in high school, my dating life consisted of a continuous string of heartbreaks that I just would not LEARN FROM. All from one girl. So yea, Kudos to Cloud 9 on raping my existence so thoroughly.
For those who know what true heartbreak and heart ache is. Then you don’t need me to repeat that it feels like dying. Like a part of you will never be the same. A part of you that you wished to remain intact, now lies in pieces. This, is like watching a section of you die, to never return. Thus the hyperbole fits. Get over it.
More lighthearted description? Sure, My name is Jesus. Simple, short, sweet, magnet to religious prejudice, ridicule, and constant misconception of those very uneducated, that I was being named after a rather famous and widely known Myth. I’m sorry but my social security card doesn’t have ‘Christ’ or ’Cristo’ anywhere on it. Sorry to disappoint. I do enjoy the jokes though. Those are welcome.
My father was a Minister in the Church of Christ. I grew up pretty much conditioned to that life, till I started to think for myself. The kicker? My father supported me in my decisions, but of course leaned on me being religious. I chose to be baptized at 15. A freedom of choice I’m proud to wave in from of those who swear that ‘Once a Zombie always a Zombie’ and baptize their children before they can have a conscious thought on the matter.
So I was “named” based on the guy that was Slain on the cross for all of our stupid decisions. Alright. I’ll bite. My heart has been made to bleed more than I care to remember, and the denotation of my name resembling a guy lynched for no good reason.
Slain it is.
SlainTigerEye. Or Slain tiger I am, Slain Tiger am I. It is of my play on the words Slain Tiger, Aye. Yes? Aye. I’ve been slain many times. And in my eyes, I the Tiger will be Slain.
Life throws things at me that hurt and lacerate, burn, cut and gash my soul. But I refuse to die to the world. I refuse to deaden my emotions and heart to those that I've yet to come to know and appreciate. Parts of my personality have been killed and murdered and destroyed; altered, changed and affected. But through all of that I've also learned that I would never want to put another through the things I've been through.
I respect and honor and feel
and hope to encounter those with the same ideal.
I answer to Slain.
But I am not dead.
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