It just makes sense to me

I appreciate the opportunity you have given me to submit all the late assignments that I have fallen behind on. This was truly an unexpected  but welcome lesson in that if I communicate more with my instructors, I will be able to formulate a plan of action to accomplish work assigned should I begin to fall behind.

However. I must decline and take the Failure. This decision is not based on that I have been informed that I can easily retake this class. Nor is it based on the small amount of time that I have left to complete and submit the tardy work. I had formulated a time table in which I have been working hard and steadily just to satisfy my goal of accomplishing most if not all of the work. But as I near the completion, and look over the labs and the Final Project I am not pleased with what I am realizing. Granted, due to the unforeseen circumstance my grades began to deteriorate at an alarming rate. I refuse to let that happen in the future. I have made this decision because I am not in any way comfortable with the information that I am left with coming out of this class should I pass it. Just rushing through and finishing the Labs and Quizzes will not and has not made me retain information. Most of it is unclear to me. I do not feel that I've given the class the opportunity and time necessary for me to gain value from it. This is where the chance to retake this class now comes into consideration. The only way for this class to benefit me now, is to retake it. I will have to speak with my academic advisor about this choice to see how I will proceed with my classes. But again, I thank you for the eye opening opportunity that you have given me. I hope to be able to apply what I've learned here in the future to not only further my progress in the computer field but every class as well.

Truly Grateful,


~~Suck it up Slain, you've just been Pwned in the face. Don't let it happen again.

Poetry 3

 OH LOOK!! I finished it. >_> Well, here it is. Don't ask me how long it took me to write it because it will make you sick. Try to read it slowly... i lost myself reading it too fast.  Hope you like it.

~Savage Heart~

Human psyche has more than one art.
Reacting with sense or that more sensitive heart..
A primitive basic and unyielding part.
A passion that very little has ever succeeded to thwart.

And you should never relinquish that
Or regret the feeling which your heart has told
A fear overcome slowly but surely makes you that
Much stronger and in lovers and loving most bold.

Open your eyes and embrace that instinct with
Powerful longing, yearning and lusting to learn.
And slake it you will once you mark it with
Your touching, feeling; Kissing with your lips, which still burn.

Burn with the desire to show that
unbridled fiery love
That even in passing is still Heart
held nigh high wielding and stronger than the great above.

Wear proudly your wishes to caress,
hold and care in that powerful trance.
Because no one, save you can stress
Just how deserving you are of such hot romance.

Ignore those around you, whose obvious lack in lessons love
Is causing that yours be that Slowly bleeding heart.
Let them move on unknowing,
as they shy away from wanting part.

For fear of being overwhelmed and
Drowning in the
Sonorous…
Echoing…
Thunderous…
Reverberant and Resonant,
Beatings of your Savage Heart!

Poetry 2

 I realize this is just some filler, but I'm currently working on another poem. Please curb your enthusiasm.

Written a some time ago, I realized this just simply is too true to ignore. And in my modest experience, I reserve the right to say, that this, up to this day, can happen... more than just once. :) Hope you enjoy.  Titled 'It Happens'

~It Happens~

Just when you find an ease in breathing,
Someone comes along unseeming.
Wraps your eyes in lustrous gleaming,
and sends your lungs for breath a pleading.

Think its not thy usual quirk.
and in wonder lies a grinning smirk.
Smile a grin and smirk a quirk
For every flaw, at her I smirk.

Her laugh a common rarity
Her voice a noisy Sonnet.
Her looks comparable to many

Just when you find an ease in breathing,
Someone comes along unseeming.
Wraps your eyes in lustrous gleaming,
and sends your lungs for breath a pleading.

And in their vanity
their existence upon it
my stimulated Heart and mind fails that many

so... strength of soul and heart of Mind
Won me over LENGTHS of time before her
gaze entered mine.

So is it You or I? Or both as we write from
my mind.. to my mind.

Just when you find an ease in breathing,
Someone comes along unseeming.
Wraps your eyes in lustrous gleaming,
and sends your lungs for breath a pleading.

About as insane for being me as you are sane for being you.

I was damaged long ago. I'm sorry that my coping mechanisms aren't up to your circumstantially inexperienced Standards.

"Sanity is the lot of those who are most obtuse, for lucidity destroys one's equilibrium: it is unhealthy to honestly endure the labors of the mind which incessantly contradict what they have just established."‎
 

"All ambitions are lawful except those which climb upward on the miseries or credulities of mankind. All intellectual and artistic ambitions are permissible, up to and even beyond the limit of prudent sanity. They can hurt no one."
 

 ‎"Art, in the artist, is proportion, or, a habitual respect to the whole by an eye loving beauty in details. And the wonder and charm of it is the sanity in insanity which it denotes."
 

"I had a quick grasp of the secret to sanity—it had become the ability to hold the maximum of impossible combinations in one's mind."
 

‎"Our sense of worth, of well-being, even our sanity depends upon our remembering. But, alas, our sense of worth, our well-being, our sanity also depend upon our forgetting."
 
 
‎"Sanity remains defined simply by the ability to cope with insane conditions."

 
In all seriousness; if being serious is required when faced with an important situation, then there is no riddle in why I find it so hard to extrapolate a singular, serious thought, from those that express I am too serious in my thinking. Seriously.

Poetry

I wrote it around March 12, 2009. This one is called 'Think'.
I guess this is one of the many sporadic poems I will be posting and quoting.

How narcissistic, right?

~Think~

Do you.... do you ever?
Ever.... wonder where you are?
Are you.... a Regreter?
Regreting.... everything you are?

Do you... do you ever?
Ever.... Wonder why you are?
Are you... a Believer?
Believing... everything you are?

Did you... did you ever?
Ever.... choose what you were?
Were you.... a Doubter?
Doubting everything you were?

Did you... did you ever?
Ever... Prove you're worth what you were?
Were you... an Idolater?
Praising everything you were?

Would you?.. Could you?
Should you? Change all that you are?

Will you?
will you??
WILL YOU!?!
Just Maybe... and maybe soon?
Soon....Improve....
On...
What...
You....
...Are...?

My Name, it's of No Consequence

It’s just a name right? But it’s also all of my being.

Tiger's eye is mined in Western Australia, South Africa, USA, Canada, India, Namibia, and Burma.

Many legends about quartz say that wearing tiger's eye (which is a form of quartz) is beneficial for health and spiritual well being. Legend also says it is a psychic protector, great for business, and an aid to achieving clarity.

The look of the stone is capturing and inspiring to me. It feels warm and soothing to view. I just simply love it.

    I could be that in my modest love life, I came to be playfully called Tiger. More even so, it could have been that my friendship and loyalty was at one point described to be as fierce as a tiger. Maybe it had a little something to do with the fact that I was born on the year of the Tiger 1986 according to the Chinese Zodiac. In description, those born on the year of the Tiger, tend to have certain qualities.

(Yang, 3rd Trine, Fixed Element Wood): Unpredictable, rebellious, colorful, powerful, passionate, daring, impulsive, vigorous, stimulating, sincere, affectionate, humanitarian, generous. Can be restless, reckless, impatient, quick-tempered, obstinate, selfish, aggressive, moody.

    But lets face it, we’ve all been these at one time or another. That out of the way, I can also mention that my interest in William Blake’s The Tyger might have influenced my name slightly. Literary jargon about what that poem means aside, I just love the way it’s written.
   
    In my view, meaning behind a written work is only up to two people. The one that wrote it and the person reading it at the time. All these analysts out there claiming en masse that any particular form of written work could only mean one thing; and that it is a fact, have no original work of their own.

                    ANYWAY!

    Now for the foremost part of my name. Slain. Simple enough. Those that read odd things have come across this word to simply mean: killed. Past participle of Slay. To destroy or extinguish. To kill by violence.  Kinda emo no? Well, it just so happens that while in high school, my dating life consisted of a continuous string of heartbreaks that I just would not LEARN FROM. All from one girl. So yea, Kudos to Cloud 9 on raping my existence so thoroughly.

    For those who know what true heartbreak and heart ache is. Then you don’t need me to repeat that it feels like dying. Like a part of you will never be the same. A part of you that you wished to remain intact, now lies in pieces. This, is like watching a section of you die, to never return. Thus the hyperbole fits. Get over it.

    More lighthearted description? Sure, My name is Jesus. Simple, short, sweet, magnet to religious prejudice, ridicule, and constant misconception of those very uneducated, that I was being named after a rather famous and widely known Myth. I’m sorry but my social security card doesn’t have ‘Christ’ or ’Cristo’ anywhere on it. Sorry to disappoint. I do enjoy the jokes though. Those are welcome.

    My father was a Minister in the Church of Christ. I grew up pretty much conditioned to that life, till I started to think for myself. The kicker? My father supported me in my decisions, but of course leaned on me being religious. I chose to be baptized at 15. A freedom of choice I’m proud to wave in from of those who swear that ‘Once a Zombie always a Zombie’ and baptize their children before they can have a conscious thought on the matter.
   
    So I was “named” based on the guy that was Slain on the cross for all of our stupid decisions. Alright. I’ll bite. My heart has been made to bleed more than I care to remember, and the denotation of my name resembling a guy lynched for no good reason.

Slain it is.

SlainTigerEye. Or Slain tiger I am, Slain Tiger am I.  It is of my play on the words Slain Tiger, Aye. Yes? Aye. I’ve been slain many times. And in my eyes, I the Tiger will be Slain.

Life throws things at me that hurt and lacerate, burn, cut and gash my soul. But I refuse to die to the world. I refuse to deaden my emotions and heart to those that I've yet to come to know and appreciate. Parts of my personality have been killed and murdered and destroyed; altered, changed and affected. But through all of that I've also learned that I would never want to put another through the things I've been through.

I respect and honor and feel
and hope to encounter those with the same ideal.

I answer to Slain.

But I am not dead.